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Many states have enacted what is called no-fault divorce statutes. This is a response to outdated common law divorce which required proof in a court of law by the divorcing party that the divorcee had done one of several enumerated things as sufficient grounds for the divorce. This entailed proving that the spouse had committed adultery, or some other unsavory act. No-fault divorce eliminates this potentially embarrassing and undesirable requirement by providing for the dissolution of a marriage on a finding that the relationship is no longer viable. It is hard to tell whether no-fault divorce statutes are the cause or an effect of the rising national divorce rate in America.
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In the personal happiness epic, marriage problems did not seem to change that much. Instead married people in these accounts told stories of finding alternative ways to improve their own happiness and build a good and happy life despite a mediocre marriage.
Unhappy spouses who divorced reported more conflict and were about twice as likely to report violence in their marriage than unhappy spouses who stayed married. However, marital violence occurred in only a minority of unhappy marriages: twenty one percent of unhappy spouses who divorced reported husband-to-wife violence, compared to nine percent of unhappy spouses who stayed married. Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery.
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Nobody marries with the expectation of failure. Married couples never contemplate that the person they once loved could later seem to be a stranger and perhaps even an enemy.
One of the greatest contributors to divorce is the issue of "control" - either financial or personal. Who controls the bank account? Who sets the social agenda? When one partner to a marriage "controls", the other partner loses their sense of self. A divorce becomes imminent as they controlled partner tries to regain their self-esteem. In a divorce situation, even the most cooperative of couples may be transformed into warring parties. It that does occur and you are not prepared, you can be sure that you may lose out on contested divorce issues. Your goal must be to be prepared and be ready to present strong arguments as part of the divorce. This always requires pro-active planning. Below are several simple and logical ways to protect yourself financially if you believe your marriage is in jeopardy.
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After you have had several interviews with divorce attorneys, you may want to compare the results. Depending upon your needs, you may give greater weight to some criteria and less to weight to others.
A divorce can be extremely stressful and painful. It can be a very difficult time for you and as well as for your children, relatives and friends. If you are getting a divorce, you do not need the added stress of wondering, "Did I choose the right lawyer?"
Your lawyer should be part of your solution, not a part of your problem. If you have a strong, experienced lawyer fighting for your best interests, you will not have to worry about your case. Rather, you can devote more of your time and energy to emotional and psychological well-being, and you can start looking forward to your new life. Don't make it harder on yourself by choosing your lawyer haphazardly. You owe it to yourself to choose carefully and to choose the best lawyer for you.
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